What Do You Want When You Get Your Ex Back
Clearly you want your ex back if you are reading this article. However, what we need to look at is why. Are you absolutely sure it is because you love them? Or could it be because you are afraid of being alone?
After being in a relationship for a while everyone becomes dependent, to a degree, on their partner. This emotional attachment or dependence is what keeps relationships together when sometimes they should have long been over. So you need to look inside yourself and objectively analyze why you want this person back.
Is it really love or is it pride that they were the one to end things before you? This can be a difficult question to answer. But if you close your eyes an visualize your life in 15 or 20 years and your partner is not there, how do you feel? If your reaction is a gut-wrenching pain then it could very well be love. However, if your answer is that you either can’t visualize or your feelings are rather vague then forget about your pride and move on.
Since we all do things to either avoid pain or gain pleasure the question you need to ask yourself is two questions:
Do you link pleasure with their presence?
Do you link pain with their absence?
You may think they are both the same things but there’s quite a large distinction between the two.
If you are focusing more on the pleasure that results from their presence, then you truly do want them in your life as a person and a partner. However if you are focusing on the pain of their absence and how miserable you’ll feel if you’re alone, this may be purely because everyone needs a connection and what is really hurting you is being alone, not necessarily being without the other person.
You have to ask yourself whether you are afraid of going out into the big world alone because you have been so used to being part of a couple. Your pain may be linked to a fear of starting out again and connecting with other people.
However, if your painful feelings are linked to being without your partner and you feel without a doubt, after a little introspection, that you can’t live without them, then you need to understand what went wrong so you know what needs to be fixed.
Do not expect it to be an easy journey because everything in life requires commitment. You may discover things about yourself that are painful, but if you truly wish to change and rekindle your lost love then you need to stay the course.