Rebuilding Trust With Your Ex
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Regardless of how you may feel about your ex, you know that the most important thing is to do what is best for your children. They deserve to have a relationship with their father, no matter how you might feel about him right now.
Communication is key and you will both have to work at rebuilding trust between you to be able to do what is best for the children and make logical decisions based on the facts and not on emotions, as co-parenting means that you will have to make certain decisions together. In other words, when deciding what school to send your children to, for example, dont disagree with his suggestion just because he made it, disagree with him if you have good reason to, not just for the sake of it.
The sad thing is that many people ruin their relationship with their children due to petty and spiteful things they do just to get back at their ex. You may think that you have won a victory but have you really? Or are you just being spiteful and forgetting to look at the bigger picture and who else may be affected by you hanging on to your resentment.
On the other hand if he has never taken an interest in the kids and doesn’t want to know, you can throw this guide out. Do remember that talking ill of their father to the children will only make them feel insecure about themselves. They will end up believing they did something to warrant this reaction from their father so try to keep that in mind when talking to them.
Here are some tips to help you rebuild trust with your ex and smooth the path to a healthy relationship with him and your children.
Consistency is very important and can make or break your attempts. Being consistent means keeping your word when you promise to take the kids to see him, for example. If you break your promise out of spite, just to try and hurt him, you will end up hurting the children more, and your relationship with them. They will end up not trusting anything you say to them in future and will begin to see you as the person trying to keep them away from their dad. This will also happen if you speak badly of your ex in front of the children.
The worst thing you can do is to be disrespectful of him or to criticize him to your children. Remember he is their father and you will end up alienating the children if every other word out of your mouth is against him.