Positive Communication with Your Ex

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Positive Communication with Your Ex

Establishing positive communication with your ex is a vital ingredient to maintaining a healthy relationship with him. This can help with co-parenting and will also help with your own relationship with the children. If he is the one being negative, at least your children will see and understand you are doing your best to improve their relationship with him. You don’t have to openly criticize him, in fact you shouldn’t do so at all, as children are smarter than you think and they will see it all by themselves.

Here are some ideas to help you improve your communication with your former partner:

1. Consulting a therapist is a good way to clear the air if you have trouble discussing important matters pertaining to the children. An objective, third party will be able to guide you both and show you what you are doing wrong. You don’t have to necessarily see a professional therapist as the advice of a member of the clergy or a friend you both trust will be just as valuable.

picture from youtube

picture from youtube

2. Establishing boundaries is vital because this way you will both know what role you each will play in the children’s lives and this way you won’t be constantly arguing over who has to do what.

3. Forgetting the past is a key factor as well, because if every time he says something you throw the past back in his face, you are guaranteed to end up in a fight that will get you nowhere. Remember that the relationship between the two of you is over and you now need to focus on the children and what is best for them. Screaming matches between their parents definitely does not make that list.

4. Look at the situation from both sides. Try to understand and see his point of view as well, as he is human and has concerns and fears just like you do, so if you try to see the situation through his eyes it will make life much easier on finding common ground.

5. Last but not least, and probably the most important, is to think of your children and what they want. Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment on this issue, be objective and try to really see what they want. By making their needs the top priority it will make it easier for you to make the right decision

Perhaps the most important thing you and your ex can do is to remain civil to one another because of the children. However, failure to do so can cause irreparable damage to the children and literally cause them to be unhappy for the rest of their life. Harsh words yes, but truthful.

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