In The Series of Articles On From Breaking Up To Making Up N.6
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Article 6 In The Series of Articles On From Breaking Up To Making Up
Don’t Try to Get Back Together
If it really is over, don’t spend your time or energy trying to get back together with your ex. Don’t vaccilate. Either you have a good thing that you want to repair – in which case you follow the advice outlined earlier in this report – or you want to call it quits.
Your mood shouldn’t shift from day to day. Don’t send text messages one day talking about the good times and then not answer your ex’s calls the next day.
If you are going to move on, take active steps to begin a new life. Reconnect with old friends and make new ones. Start to date again. Don’t center your life around your ex on a day by day basis.
Exchange Personal Property
In any long term relationship, people tend to “collect” things that belong to the other one. A woman might have his college sweatshirt for instance. You may have left things at each other’s houses. If you have broken up and are going to stay broken up, it’s time for a property exchange.
First of all, clean out your house of everything of your ex’s. There are three categories of items.
The first category is the things you want to give back. Don’t hold onto things he or she wants back “for sentimental reasons.” The less you have of his or hers, the less you will need to talk going forward.
The second category is the things that don’t warrant giving back. For instance, if he’s left a toothbrush at your place, it’s almost rude to box it up and give it to him. With these things, throw them away. There is no reason to remind yourself of him every time you open your medicine cabinet.
Finally, there is the category of things he or she wants you to keep. Generally, an ex isn’t going to want you to give him or her all of the gifts back that they ever gave you. In fact, they’ll want you to keep them to remind you of the special times you had.
But, you don’t want these things in your life – right now. Later, once the hurt has healed, you can bring them out and enjoy them again. But for now, box them up and put them in the top of your closet where you are not likely to find them on a daily basis.
Clearing Up Money Issues
It is not uncommon for a couple to have some money issues at the time of the break up. In some cases, this means sorting through joint checking and credit accounts. In other cases it is a matter of one party owing the other money.
If you have some money issues, try to resolve them right away. Sort through your joint accounts. Get new bank accounts and transfer the agreed amounts of money into the separate accounts. If you have joint debt, get new credit cards and transfer the debt onto your separate accounts. Don’t keep the old accounts open either. Clearing up money issues is a key step in moving on.
So, what happens when one party owes the other one money and can’t pay it off right away? The best thing to do is to seek a loan from another source to pay it off. If you are constantly having to deal with weekly or monthly payments, you will have to be in contact with each other regularly which is something you don’t want. Additionally, the lender and debtor relationship can wreck havoc with the power balance in your post-romantic relationship. So, do what you can to get all balances settled.
If it doesn’t look like your ex is going to pay off his or her debt, write it off. Consider it a financial lesson learned.
Article 7 and the concluding in this series will be published tomorrow. read more Love advice blog
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