Article 5 In The Series of Articles on From breaking Up to Making Up
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Breaking Up to Making Up
Fix What’s Wrong
Relationships rarely break up over “something minor.” Something minor may have triggered the event, but there was probably something much larger at play. The trigger was the tip of the ice burg, which, everyone knows, has a mountain underneath the sea.
So, analyze what really went wrong in the relationship and try to fix it. Work together to make choices that make you happy. If necessary, seek out a counselor to help you work through your issues.
Try to Grow and Change
A break up is actually a growth opportunity. You have had a chance to pause and reflect on what you really want out of the relationship and out of life. Use this experience as a chance to analyze who you are and how you got to this place in your life.
A break up is a warning sign that things out of balance in your life. It calls for some reflection on your part.
When you are mature about what is happening in your life, you can use this as a growth opportunity.
At that point, you will find that your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend will grow as well. You may find that you can move to the next level when you were stuck before.
If You Don’t Make Up
Not every break up will end up wit a reconciliation. So what happens when you don’t make up?
Try to Leave on a Positive Note
A break up is painful experience. You are leaving behind someone who filled a special place in your life.
Try not to leave with a bitter taste in your mouth. While you may not be friends at the end, try to at least be friendly.
Don’t Try to Be Friends Right Away
If you break up, don’t think that being “just friends” is going to work – at least right away. You need to take a break from each other. It is going to be painful to see the other person at first. Give yourself a permission to be apart.
Don’t Try to be Friends Right Away
One of the most common break up lines is that he or she wants to be “just friends.” Maybe – down the road – you will find that you can be “just friends” again. But right now, you need your space. Often being “just friends” leads to being “friends with benefits.” This means that you will have difficulty moving on and finding a new love.
It is great to be on good terms with all of the people in your life. And giving yourselves some space doesn’t mean that you have to be hostile to each other.
But, don’t incorporate your ex into your plans at first. It is necessary for you to rebuild a circle of friends without your ex during this period.
Of course, if you run in the same circles, you will see each other from time to time. Be polite. But don’t go out of your way to be chummy.
In time, when you have both moved on and have developed other romantic relationships, you can explore the idea of a close friendship once again.
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