Article 3 In The Series of Articles on From Breaking Up to Making Up
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Breaking Up to Making Up
Don’t Try to Hurt Them
You may have the urge to hurt your ex. There are so many ways to do this. Resist the urge.
For instance, some people think that hanging around their ex and flirting with their friends is a good way to get them back. This rarely works, and when it does, it indicates that the relationship is shallow.
Other times, the partner badmouths the ex to anyone who will listen. This reflects far worse on you than it does on your ex.
Then there are the “pranks” that can land you in hot water with the authorities. Don’t go slash his tires, place crank calls to her phone, or do other harmful things out of a sense of vengeance. This is childish, immature, and sometimes criminal.
Another bad thing people do when they have broken up is to beg their ex to take them back. Remember an earlier rule – don’t communicate. But this one is even more important. Even if you do communicate, don’t beg. Later in this report we’ll talk about how to get your ex back, but if you start to beg at this point, you will put yourself in a weak position later.
Remember, in every good relationship, there is a balance of power. When you beg, you lose your personal power which harms the relationship in the long run.
Turn to Friends and Family
Your friends and family won’t let you go on ad nauseum about the break up but they should be sympathetic during the first week or so after things go sour. Ask them for their help.
You should also ask them to let you talk about your feelings without giving you advice. Too often people want to “help” their friends and their help is really unhelpful.
Also ask them to spend time with you doing fun things. You are going to feel like moping around the house. If your friends drag you out, you’ll end up cheering up much more quickly.
After the First Week
Okay, you have given the relationship the break you need to get your head on straight. What’s next? You have to decide whether you want to get back together again or if you want to split up. But, this might not be clear right away. So, which ever path you want to take, there are some strategies to take after about 7 days.
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