Article 2 In The Series of Articles on From Breaking Up to Making Up
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From Breaking Up to Making Up
Don’t Be Hasty – Breaking Up to Making Up
A break up should never be over one dramatic experience. Put things in the context of your entire relationship. Remember, you can talk through most individual things. This doesn’t mean that talking will save every relationship, but your relationship is a precious thing and shouldn’t be thrown away over something stupid.
Think about whether you would rather not have this person in your life. What will losing him or her mean for you? What are the kinds of things you will miss out on when he or she is not around?
You have to ask yourself if you love the person. You need to know that the love doesn’t end just because your relationship has. But, instead of having someone to share the love, you will just have a hole in your heart.
This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t break up. It just means that you shouldn’t be hasty about it.
Don’t Move On Until You’ve Moved On
It is not fair to move on before you have informed the other person. Don’t start dating other people before your own boyfriend or girlfriend has been dumped. It will hurt ever so much more if your ex feels you cheated on them.
If you are in an exclusive relationship, keep it exclusive. This ties in with being honest. If you find that you have started becoming attracted to other people and your affection for your significant other has diminish, finish things off with him or her before you take up with someone else. It’s the right thing to do.
The Week Following the Break Up
The week following the break up is the most painful period. It is also the time when people do stupid things. Whether you are planning to never see your ex again or you desperately want him or her back, there are some things you can do and things you shouldn’t do during this critical period.
Give Yourself Some Space
When you’ve broken up with your ex, you need a “cooling off period.” Tempers have flared, people have hurt each other and sadness has ensued. So, give yourself some space during this time.
Your best bet is to avoid contact and communication for a week. Don’t call, text or email your ex and don’t let them contact you. Don’t go out of your way to see them. When you do come into contact casually, disengage as soon as it is polite to do so.
If your ex contacts you, it is a good idea to ask them to give you a week to sort things out. Ask them not to contact you and you will do the same for them. Let them know that this doesn’t mean that you want to cut them out of your life, you just need a cooling off period and give them a date for when you will be willing to talk again.
By giving yourself some space, you can analyze your next move. You can decide whether you want to try to get your ex back or whether you want to move on. Don’t make these decisions casually when you are feeling hurt and vulnerable.
Article 3 in this series will be published tomorrow. on Breaking Up to Making Up
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