2nd Article On Sparks Of Love Series
Share this article
This is the 2nd article in the series of articles on the “Sparks of Love”.
As you will remember yesterday’s article left off with the discussion on loyalty to your partner. The most important part is likely being monogamous in the relationship.
Monogamy boils down to sexual loyalty. If you are in an exclusive relationship, you have sex only with that person. And, you don’t quibble about what sex consists of. Your affections are totally reserved for the person you love. Being sexually exclusive helps your relationship grow emotionally.
Two seventh grade students who are “going steady” don’t have much maturity – and their “relationships” tend to fall apart in a matter of weeks (or even days) as any middle school teacher will tell you.
But, in an adult relationship, both parties need to have a significant level of maturity to make the thing last. When you have proper emotional development, you are able to see the “big picture” and not sweat the small stuff. You won’t just consider your own point of view, you will be able to see the world through your partner’s eyes.
When you are mature, you treat the other person well. It’s the right thing to do and you know your relationship will benefit as a result. You know that you won’t get everything you want and you are prepared to compromise.
When you are mature, you are ready to give as well as receive whereas immature people focus only on their own needs.
The healthier you are personally, the better the chances are that a relationship can work. This means you are emotionally stable, responsible and independent. You should also have reasonably developed social skills.
A person must be in touch with reality in order to have reasonable expectations for the relationship. You should be free from addictions and not engage in self defeating behaviors.
When people in a relationship suffer from poor psychological health, the relationship will falter. Most relationships cannot survive when one person is significantly healthier than the other.
If you feel you are in poor psychological or emotional health, it may be best to seek personal therapy before engaging in a meaningful relationship in order to have the best chance at success in romance.
One of the most important aspects to your sense of self is your morality. What things do you consider must be done in order to live a moral life? What things must be avoided. Are social justice, equality, and eco-awareness central to your morality or are your values centered around family values and traditional economics? These things can make a big difference in your relationship.
That is not to say that you have to agree on everything in the political sphere. But, it is necessary that you agree on what is right and what is wrong.
Many times a person’s morality is tied in with his or her religious beliefs. So, if you are a highly religious person and you are dating someone who disdains religion, you probably don’t have enough shared morality to move forward.
There are some lines that must not be crossed. What are they for you? If your partner does not share these boundaries, you will have endless fights.
Having a shared moral code is one of the most important aspects to your successful relationship.
Tomorrows article will pick up on having shared goals in the relationship.